I don’t know what to say
I don’t know
If tears are circling in your eyes
If they are blocking your sight
If they are running all over your face
I can’t see
I am here, sitting
Far away
-
I hear you
I hear you breathing
I hear your heart is beating
I hear your muscles are tightening
So hard
-
I don’t know what to do, you said
I hear your voice is trembling
It must be very cold, inside your heart
I hear the pain in your voice
And scars, bleeding scars
Is it burning in your heart?
I don’t know what to say
-
Too much, you said
I don’t know what to say
-
(Silence)
-
Then, I hear you
I hear tears are breaking out
Flooding, screaming, shouting
In your beating heart
On your tightening muscles
In and out of your every breath
So hard
-
Too much
You are crying
-
I am sorry, you said
No, it is okay
Let it out, let it all out
Too much, I know
-
It is safe
You are safe with me
Far away
But together
I am here with you
-
I see you
A beautiful soul trapped in a cage
No sunshine
Not even a piece of light
I see you
In the darkness
In the corner of the cage
So small
-
You are crying
I see your heart is beating
I see your muscles are tightening
I see bruises, cut, scrapes, burns
And scars, bleeding scars
Breathing, screaming, shouting
So hard
-
You are hurting
Too much
You can’t move
Too heavy
Too tired, you said
I don’t know what to do, you said
Too afraid
-
It is okay
Just stay there
It is okay to not move forward
Stay there
I am here with you
I am here
-
I hear you
I see you
I don’t know what to say
And it is okay
I am here with you
I am here
-
Tears are circling in my eyes
They are blocking my sight
They are running all over my face
I don’t know
I don’t know what to say
Dear Me, this poem is about my experience and feelings on the suicide and crisis hotline with people who are hurting so hard and too much, they are too tired and too afraid. Sometimes, I don’t know what to say. But I am there with them, and I am here with you.
(Originally published on July 26, 2020 on Substack)
